Only a mothe r could love this liver
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
