If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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