Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
