Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
