I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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