Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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