Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
