Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
