Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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