Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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