doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
