i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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