Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
