The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need to sanitize my soul.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
