What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
