Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
vagina is talking i cant
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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