walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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