So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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