You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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