so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
