She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
