I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
