But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
