I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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