I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She told me I should be a condom model.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
