She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
