You really coming over, don't trick.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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