Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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