This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think I died a long time ago.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
