one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
