Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
