If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
