you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
