nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
