why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
