Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
