yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
