Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
