hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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