I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
