i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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