He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
