Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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