So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
