My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
