I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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