I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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