Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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