so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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