Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
