I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
